Sparkalyn.com

To make up for going to bed early instead of writing a real article

For the past two weeks I’ve been neck deep in the gut grinding anxiety that comes from a rapid, broadside influx of “Things I Should Know About But Don’t”. Who knew “growing up” would be a pimp slap to my intelligence? (besides both my parents, my brothers and every person older than me that I’ve [...]

Happy New Martin Luther Valentines Bowl

So hi everybody… How ya doing? In effort to cross something off of my three page to-do list other than “watch superbowl commercials and be horribly disappointed” or “attempt to hem pants while watching superbowl commercials and completely mess it up and have to pick out the stitches one by one” I’m updating my blog. [...]

Weekend Tidbits: Halloween

In a rare occurrence I’m glad it’s Monday. Of course it’s less about Halloween and more about the fact that my weekend stunk worse than fish emulsion on a hot day. If you don’t know how that smells… count your blessings.
I’m exaggerating a bit though, so I’ll give you the high points.
Kicking things up a [...]

Confessions of a Daddy’s girl

When I was younger I heard that phrase a lot. It was delivered scathingly whenever I mentioned that we weren’t allowed to do whatever it was we were planning to do. It was the standard challenge whenever I refused to take sides in the frequent trivial arguments. It was the ultimate accusation of betrayal.
Perhaps [...]

Angry situation

I am very, very angry. If I were less of a geek and if my poetry didn’t suck lima beans I would write a poem expressing my anger. Since I’m not and it does here’s my version.

if isAngry(sunshine) AND reason == ‘helpless’ {
if isAble(’sunshine’)
donate(’time’);
anger–;
if notBroke(’sunshine’)
donate(’money’);
if isConnected(’sunshine’)
spreadWord(’solicit’, ‘all’);
anger–;
if(anger > normal)
explode(’sunshine’);
throwSomething(’sunshine’, ‘tv’, ‘offBalcony’);
beatSomething(’sunshine’, ‘anything’, ‘bloodypulp’);
}

Now I [...]