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Memory Impairment

This is another entry to the category “the reason I don’t spend more of my precious time constructing scintillating posts for you to peruse instead of playing Bang Howdy. It’s a deep and shameful secret but I’m feeling the need to confess so hold on to your britches (that’s the Bang Howdy coming out). You see the problem is my computer… she’s just not as young as she used to be. The computer at work on the other hand…

I know I know. You’re shocked that I would openly admit to an affair with a colleague but let me tell you… she has two gigs of memory! Do you know what Firefox can do with two gigs of memory? Do you? I often go multiple hours without having to restart it! It’s as if my browser is on wheels!! Yes… that’s right I used two exclamation points but I think it was worth it boys and girls. And let me tell you, not only am I experiencing browsing at lightning speeds at work but I can load Adobe Photoshop in less than 5 minutes. Whoa. That’s right. Fonts and all.

Am I exaggerating? Absolutely. But not much. The weeny little half gig I’ve known and loved for years just isn’t doing it in the face of 28 browser extensions (bet you’re wondering what they are) and a Windows Messenger that refuses to accept the fact that I want nothing to do with it. So I’m memory impaired. And until I get some fresh circuity goodness, this will stand as the reason I don’t blog unless I really feel like blogging. As if I really needed a reason.

In case you were influented

For those of you that are curious about the “Crunchy Organic Pirate Fuckers” referenced in Monday’s Penny Arcade, let it be known that I possess one and a half bags of said crunchy snack and I am shamelessly keeping it all to myself.

This should probably go over in the sidebar but I couldn’t resist the title.

Misheard

So. I saw the commercial for the new Bits and Pieces Shake from Steak and Shake… only I thought the announcer said Bitchin’ Pieces.

Possibly I’m the only person in the world that finds that hilarious… but it’s my blog so I’m recording it.

Cars vs. Over the Hedge

This weekend I saw both Over the Hedge and Cars and I feel that I am now qualified to pass judgment of these movies on to you.

One was a movie with charismatic, lovable characters that just begged me to identify with them and feel feelings. The other one was about a family of animals.

I am usually not a harsh critic of movies (except for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen… boy was that junk). Even if I’m disappointed, usually I’m the member of the group pointing out that it wasn’t that bad. Especially if I’ve paid 8 dollars to go see it. But beyond a few token laughs (most of which I saw during the preview) Over The Hedge just didn’t do it for me. There was a lot of potential and some characters that could have really stolen the show but the attempt fell flat and the overwhelming emotion was boredom. I didn’t even stay through the credits and I always stay through the credits (if my movie partners aren’t itching to leave).
Cars, on the other hand, had the stuff. The writing was delish and there was a nice mix of jokes and references for all ages. The movie was visually stunning and the characters had character. The story is simple and obvious but no less satisfying because of it.

Now to be completely fair I did see OTH at the end of a long day and Cars was on a fresh brain. Also… OTH wasn’t bad like say… the new Garfield movie or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It was just dull with a few kneejerk laughs. Like oatmeal with a few raisins. Or wrestling.

In other news, Happy zeroth birthday to Kira Elizabeth, brand new baby girl of my dear friends Kat & Mason. Kat was my dorm-mate and then my roomie in college (goodness know why). I can’t wait to get down to Orlando to babysit.

Hotter than hell in a deep fryer

Hi Internet,

I like to think that I ask for very little from life (highspeed internet, ice water with lemon and post-it notes) but nothing makes me feel spoiled like sitting in my apartment for 6 hours with no air. If you never see this post, it’s because my computer spontaneously combusted and/or I went crazy and attacked my air conditioner with my cordless drill (which can only be used as a blunt object since the great deal I got it for didn’t include a charger for the battery. Go me.)

It is, in a word, sticky in here. I could go on about this but despite the title of this post, that’s not why I’m here. I just thought the title would be cute.
Recently I’ve been doing a lot of things that don’t involve posting… like reading great books, finding beautiful websites, playing good games and agonizing over unanswerable questions (like at what point does orange become too bright?, when will someone invent a machine to convert brain waves to scores? and where did I just put my keys?). I do love my little corner of the web and I do want to see it flourish and grow and gain the attention of multi-billionaires who will want to buy it from me so I can chuckle at them and wave my standards in their faces… well. anyway. I need to translate some of what I’m doing into pixels. So what, oh reader, would you like to see.

Please temper suggestions with the knowledge that my writing tanks if I try to take it seriously at all. Of course it’s not so great when I don’t so perhaps you have nothing to worry about.

I leave you with that thought to ponder. I’m not sure what thought since I’m so not proof-reading this. You get all of joys of my run-ons , mis-spellings, comma splices and sentence ending prepositional phrases. Proofing is definitely an air conditioned task only. Except for that last sentence because, boy, was that bad. But that’s it. No scrolling for you.

If you don’t hear from me for the rest of the week, call my mother and tell her I melted.